I was always different when I was younger but I thought I was just really shy. I would watch TV and wonder how people could SO NATURALLY react and respond in social situations. I remember one time I searched online “Why do I steal the personalities of the people I see on TV”

Cause I didn’t have any natural social personality. I didn’t know how to respond to someone telling a sad story, or a boy slapping my ass (I’d just look at him in confusion while all the other girls would screech and slap them)

I also had an obsession with serial killers since 7th grade. And freshman year I remember after watching Dexter for the first time, telling my friend I’d think it’d be so cool to be a serial killer. I just thought I was weird honestly. I just pretended to have different personalities, and acted how, whoever I was talking to, wanted me to act. I gave everyone the responses they wanted to hear because…I was really indifferent about, everything.

 Also I would never cry, and when my dad went to the hospital I didn’t care at all. And my aunt called me yelling at me, and I was like (WTF… I don’t care…shut up) but I made some story up about how my friend went to a mental hospital and started crying.

I was always very manipulative and sadistic.

I 100% knew when I read a shocked letter from a psychopath to a doctor in which a male in his mid twenties, had just had an epiphany he was a psychopath, he said that he realized just that day, he had never loved anyone EVER in his life and he didn’t have inherent social skills and blah blah blah ect…

That was the moment I realized I’ve never loved anyone ever in my life either. Or felt love towards anyone, or even cared about any living person. It was a very odd phenomenon. Like when harry found out he was a wizard.

After that moment, I thought about all my actions and it all added up. I even looked back at this conversation I had with my best friend at the time, in which I emotionally abused her. It was weird that I didn’t think I was being cruel at the time, I was just being me, because I didn’t know I was a psychopath, therefore I had nothing to hide, I was just kind of an openly awful person to people without giving it too much thought.

Tumblr user femalepsychopath


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    Stories of those who are sociopaths and who have had experiences with sociopaths will be posted here.


    December 2013